David B. Calhoun’s Blog

So I quit World of Warcraft. Again.

I’ve had a sort of love-hate relationship with the game. At times I spent way too much time on it, improving my character and such, and wondering in awe if people really actually spent MORE time than I did playing. They do, of course, because there were always people with better gear than me.

Anyhow, I started playing shortly after the game came out. The game was released in November 2004, and I finally picked it up in January 2005, and was always struggling to catch up to my friends who had started it before I did. I kept playing until sometime mid-2006, when I devoted myself full-time to work and school, and writing my Philosophy Thesis.

When the expansion, Burning Crusade, was released in January 2007, I picked up a copy and played it for about a month before realizing that it was really just more of the same stuff. Go here, get this quest, kill 80 boars, bring this guy back the head of so-and-so. There WERE a few new and fun quest types, like one where you had to throw down bombs from a gryphon rider. But for the most part it was just more of the same stuff. So I quit sometime in February.

Come January 2008 and, after not having played for a year, I start thinking about how fun it would be to play again. One of my friends had even logged back in so he could get his character up to the level cap, level 70. I spent the next month or so trying to finally get to level 70 (I had quit at level 65). Most of the quests and instances were the same stuff as before, just rehashed and given a different name. I do admit that there were a couple of pretty different and fun quests. There was this one quest that stands out in my mind right now - it was one where you somehow transform into a squirrel so you can sneak into this ogre camp and taint their beer kegs. I kid you not! The best part about it was that you could actually STEALTH. It was hilarious to see the squirrel go into stealth mode. You even had the ability to distract your enemies with a “Throw Acorn” spell. I remember messing around in “squirrel mode” around this one Alliance character for a while, just for the heck of it, because it was so fun.

Anyhow, I digress! The thing is, once I got to level 70 last week, the same old level cap wall hit me. Unless I had ridiculous amounts of time to spend in dungeons or PvP (player versus player) matches, I really didn’t stand a chance against everyone else. So I PvPed in the old, familiar, and boring PvP battlegrounds for a while, got some decent stuff, and then realized that I wasn’t really enjoying myself. It was just becoming another grind. And to top it off, when Blizzard supposedly releases their expansion this year, all this effort will become worthless.

So basically what I’m trying to say is, the best part of the game is leveling up. The worst part of the game is when you hit the level cap.

Also, it wasn’t fun leveling up from 65 to 70, because for the most part my friends weren’t logged on. There had been a time when we all got on Skype and quested and did instances and had a good time, but gone are those days!

I’ve also become annoyed with the player base, which is another terrible part of the game. Most everyone on there is out for their good, or the good of their guild, and nothing more. And there is a large group of people who don’t think twice about using exploits and cheating to get ahead. “It’s all part of life”, they say to try to justify it.

In WoW, there is NO honor.

When I used to play Red Baron 3D, a WWI combat flight sim, after a dogfight each player would salute each other. In World of Warcraft, after you’re killed by your opponent, they spit on you.

That about sums it up.

Last night I took off all my hard-earned gear and sold what I could of it. What I couldn’t sell I destroyed. I sold/destroyed everything in my bags and everything in my bank. I completely destroyed everything I worked hard to earn up to that point, then gave all my gold to my guild. I did the same with my level 60 alternate character.

Somewhere there is a naked troll rogue and a naked undead priest having coffee together.

What’s so hard with forgiveness?

Especially in Christianity, forgiveness is regarded as a real virtue. When someone has done us wrong, it shows great maturity that we could honestly forgive them.

But why is it so hard sometimes? Because we know that the person will probably do us wrong again, but the next time they won’t be as surprised when they’re forgiven. That’s my fear anyway. I’m afraid of being exploited for my forgiveness. This is along the lines of “turn the other cheek” - just how much should a person yield to another person? Should someone ever take a stand, and NOT turn the other cheek? Shouldn’t we expect there to be times like this?

Similarly, should there be times when people are not forgiven?

I don’t know - I’m beyond pessimistic about this world, and so far I’ve been pretty much hopeless in it. Forgiveness is something I’ve always known to be a virtue and a great thing, but maybe because of some past experiences I’ve just found it extremely hard to forgive as of recently. I want to protect my heart - I don’t want people to destroy it, have me forgive them, then leave my heart open for another attack.

I guess this comes more out of recent circumstances than anything else.

Sorry, my thoughts are a mess tonight, and there’s no easy way to organize all of this, so I’ll just leave it.

I live in Los Angeles, one of the largest cities in the world. It’s not by choice - this is where my family planted itself about a century ago, after moving away from the farming life in rural Kansas, in search of better jobs and a better life.

More and more of the world is becoming urbanized, we’re told. More of the world is becoming like congested, smoggy Los Angeles.

There are plenty of great things about the city - plenty of choices for entertainment, dining, schools, etc. Contrast this with a small town, where the choices for entertainment are the local bar or the bowling alley, the choices for dining are Cafe #1 or Cafe #2, and where you only have one school to choose from, unless you want to drive out on the interstate 100 miles one-way.

Of course the main draw to the big city is the opportunity for jobs. As a result, rent is driven up and it forces single people to get together and share rent.

But what is the problem with the metropolis? It’s precisely the best and worst thing about the city: the fact that there’s so much choice. This is probably partly to blame for the high divorce rate in the US. Why stay together when you have literally millions of other options? This is also why it’s so easy to have an affair. If your spouse doesn’t satisfy you, all you have to do is leave your dwelling and confidently look for someone who WILL satisfy you.

I’ve always thought the metropolis was also harmful to organized religion. In the small rural town, the church would be the epicenter - the thing that brought everyone together. And you would have just one church. Contrast this with the big city - you have dozens of churches in your immediate area, and a lot more than that if you’re willing to drive a little farther. The free market capitalism that improves businesses in competition with each other in the city also affects churches. Why stay at this boring church, where the pastor rambles on and on and where the people are snobbish, when you can join a better church that’s a short distance away? In business, this prompts competition, but in terms of churches, this usually ends up in a mass exodus from one church to another, and the slow, eventual death of the former church.

In the small rural town, you were stuck with what you had. This was a bad thing, but this was also a good thing: if people have no other choice but to go to that church, then they might as well make the best of it and try to improve and contribute to that one church, to make it just a bit better.

The same with marriages: in a small rural town, there’s not a lot of selection for a spouse. If you are lucky enough to find one, you will bend over backwards to compromise and make the marriage work. Or you will simply be unsatisfied in a marriage, but will stay together for convenience, or for the children.

Nowadays, the city promotes the idea that if you’re unhappy with whatever you have, be it your job, your spouse, your church, your friends, etc, you can simply dispose of them and easily find new ones. How degrading, and how depressing to be a piece of human waste, used and then disposed of in favor of something else.

How can someone survive in such a hostile environment?

I’m tired, in more ways than one! This year has been a lot of fun.. I guess I’ve grown a bit. I learned that I’m not ready or equipped for the real world yet, so I’m going back to school to get a second bachelor’s degree (in Computer Science). I know there are MANY jobs I’m prevented from applying for simply because I don’t have a degree in CS. Also, I don’t think I know enough or am dedicated enough to go for a Master’s degree in CS, so that will come later, I hope…

I still hang onto the small hope that there is fulfillment later, at the end of the tunnel…

The greatest adventure is what lies ahead
Today and tomorrow are yet to be said
The chances the changes are all yours to make
The mold of your life is in your hands to break.

The greatest adventure is there if you are bold
Let go of the moment that life makes you hold
To measure the meaning can make you delay
It’s time you stop thinking and wasting the day.

A man whose a dreamer and never takes leave
Who thinks of a world that is make believe
Will never know passion
Will never know pain
Who sits by the window
Will one day see rain.

The greatest adventure is what lies ahead
Today and tomorrow are yet to be said
The chances the changes are all yours to make
The mold of your life is in your hands to break.

For most people, life isn’t easy. If it was, it would probably be boring anyhow. Life has its ups and downs, some more bearable than others. Some “downs” leave scars that last through life, even though the “ups”.

I think most people think early in life that they will be rich and famous. Then as life progresses they realize they will never be either of these things. There are some who will even be rich but not famous, and will still not be content. There are many who are rich and famous and are still not content with their lives. We should strive hard, but let’s not be disappointed when we don’t reach these extravagant goals.

Life is a learning process. As we grow, we experience many letdowns. This comes with the territory. But we must move on. If we don’t move on, we might as well give up on life altogether.

It’s time you stop thinking and wasting the day.

You may have heard of the term “Web 2.0″ being thrown around here and there. You must have heard it by now especially if you are into web development on any level. There are some who think it’s just a word with no defined meaning, then there’s others who take its meaning very seriously. Look at the web development jobs offered on Craigslist, for instance, and you will see many listing referring to “Web 2.0″, along with all the other fun obscure terms associated with web development.

What is Web 2.0? As far as I can tell, it has several meanings:
1. (Website type) A type of website that offers the latest trends in social networking, multimedia, or viral content. Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, Flickr, Digg, etc.
2. (Website design) A website utilizing the latest in website layout and functionality. CSS, Ajax, JavaScript, Flash, Scriptaculous, gradients, etc.

These are pretty vague definitions, but I’m not sure they can be made more specific. And why did I separate the definition? Because a website can be 1 without being 2. For instance, up until recently, MySpace was a great example of 1, but they didn’t change their interface much in over five years, thus they weren’t an example of the latest and greatest in web layout and functionality. They FINALLY updated the site though, to bring it up to standards.

There’s a lot we can say about Web 2.0, but I don’t really hear a lot being said about what exactly made Web 1.0. In other words, what is now considered outdated? Here’s a few things I can think of:

1. HTML Frames (LONG outdated and out of favor, replaced by table-based layouts).
2. HTML Tables (replaced by CSS layouts).
3. Guestbooks (replaced by Blogs and built-in commenting).
3. Animated Gifs (replaced by still images, or images that change when moused-over).
4. Content-heavy pages (replaced by simple and effective pages like Google)
5. HTML Marquees (still used by teenage girls for their MySpace pages, but generally considered tacky and annoying).
6. Counters (replaced by more sophisticated web traffic monitors)
7. Webrings. You just don’t see these as often, if at all.

Things in my life are changing. Hopefully for the better. But in any case, things are changing.. I’ll be seeing less of my friends I’ve grown to be fond and familiar with and I’m jumping into something that I hope will work out for the best. It was fun while it lasted, but it just can’t last forever.. and it’s time to move on, in more ways than one.

I’ve been listening to this song recently, and it really echoes my sentiments about working with my friends at Javaground. The killer that makes the entire song for me is the last verse. Bob Dylan, probably sings this part the best (”I wish, I wish, I wish in vain…”).

I kind of like the Peter, Paul & Mary version of it for the rest of the song, but that version is missing a lot of the emotion that’s in the original.

While riding on a train goin’ west,
I fell asleep for to take my rest.
I dreamed a dream that made me sad,
Concerning myself and the first few friends I had.

With half-damp eyes I stared to the room
Where my friends and I spent many an afternoon,
Where we together weathered many a storm,
Laughin’ and singin’ till the early hours of the morn.

By the old wooden stove where our hats was hung,
Our words were told, our songs were sung,
Where we longed for nothin’ and were quite satisfied
Talkin’ and a-jokin’ about the world outside.

With haunted hearts through the heat and cold,
We never thought we could ever get old.
We thought we could sit forever in fun
But our chances really was a million to one.

As easy it was to tell black from white,
It was all that easy to tell wrong from right.
And our choices were few and the thought never hit
That the one road we traveled would ever shatter and split.

How many a year has passed and gone,
And many a gamble has been lost and won,
And many a road taken by many a friend,
And each one I’ve never seen again.

I wish, I wish, I wish in vain,
That we could sit simply in that room again.
Ten thousand dollars at the drop of a hat,
I’d give it all gladly if our lives could be like that.

Took a walk to the park today to meditate a bit.. here’s some stuff I wrote:

I can’t help but feel that when people speak of loneliness, they actually mean something else, something more abstract. It is like this: just last week I was talking with my friends and the subject of sex came up. Sex is fun and pleasurable, and one of my friends was trying to get me to chime in and agree. “Yes,” I said, “but there is something more.. something more abstract”.

I was thinking of people who live their lives to have sex. What an awfully simple fate to get stuck with sex for sex’s sake! And it’s scary to think that most people would like this sort of lifestyle if they could support themselves and if there were no consequences. But no - sex in itself is nothing. Like many pleasures, it points beyond itself, to some deep urge for the abstract - for pleasure itself, in its pure form? And it’s no wonder people mistake sex for abstract pleasure - for sex is the closest they will get to the abstract.

Enough of this digression - back to loneliness. When people say they’re lonely, I feel they are really aiming at something more abstract, deeper and beyond. THis is what I mean: there is a difference in the loneliness one feels in being apart from their family for a week or so and the loneliness one feels in not having a family at all. And I don’t think it’s a temporal difference (i.e. saying that they are different because one example has the person separated from their family by a week and the other example has the person separated from their family for a long indefinite period of time).

The difference is that in the one example the person means something to other people, and those people mean something to that person. In the case of the person with no family, there is no one to mean something to. There is no exchange of value of their existence. They are an island - no ships come or leave their harbor.

This is quite different from loneliness - the feeling of meaninglessness - but loneliness is one of its causes. A person is brought up in the world and perhaps questions a few things (i.e. in school, children ask “why are we learning this?”, “how can we use this?”, “what’s the point in learning this?”). And suppose later they reject their friends, they’re unsuccessful with love (or perhaps unrepairably broken-hearted), they have forsaken their family (or their family has forsaken them), and are now living alone. What horror if we have to question the point of their existence!: “what’s the point in you being here?”, “how can you be useful to the world?”, “why are you existing at all?”.

This is the real anguish of the lonely person - it’s an existential anguish. This is how it’s possible to walk down streets of crowded strangers and perhaps feel the deepest loneliness: the fact that so many faces are passing you by, but all are meaningless to you, and you are equally meaningless to them. Or - perhaps the small meaning you have to them consists in the fact that you’re in their way. This is beyond unnerving…

I remember after having drinks (see yesterday’s post) with his fellow philosophers, we went back to Brian Onishi’s apartment and somehow Jeremy Finzel challenged him to a wrestling match. Brandon took off his shirt, and being a lot bigger almost hurt Jeremy in the process of winning. We got pictures (SOMEONE has them) and it was funny.

I remember after Spanish class, talking with him in front of the Flour Fountain about life and future plans. He talked about how he was disappointed with philosophy, how he wanted to focus more on spiritual development for the time being. I remember him driving to and back from the Sushi place by the grocery store and coming back with some pretty tasty-looking food. I would never have tried that place if it wasn’t for him.

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News stories
——–

LA TIMES

Motorcyclist is killed in ricochet accident
From Times Staff and Wire Reports
June 15, 2007

A man riding a motorcycle was killed Thursday after hitting a sports car and a tractor-trailer, authorities said.

Brandon Garcia, 23, of Irvine was switching lanes heading south on Beach Boulevard about 7:45 a.m.

His handlebar struck the tractor-trailer and he veered into a Mercedes-Benz, witnesses told police.

The motorcycle bounced off the car back toward the tractor-trailer, which ran over the man. He died at the scene.

—————–
OC Register

Friday, June 15, 2007
Motorcyclist killed in Buena Park crash
Irvine man, 23, was splitting lanes of traffic on Beach Boulevard when handlebars caught semi.
By KIMBERLY EDDS
The Orange County Register

BUENA PARK –A 23-year-old motorcyclist splitting lanes of traffic during the morning commute was run over and killed by a semi truck after catching his handlebars on the truck.

Traffic was heavy along Beach Boulevard about 7:50 a.m. when Brandon Garcia of Irvine tried to cut into a lane with the big-rig near Artesia Boulevard, Buena Park police Sgt. Gary Worrall said.

Garcia’s handlebar caught the side of the truck, sending the motorcycle veering into a nearby Mercedes-Benz.

Garcia’s motorcycle bounced off the Mercedes and back in front of the semi. The truck driver, David Bonilla, 38, of Santa Ana, ran over Garcia, dragging him along Beach Boulevard before coming to a stop.

Garcia was pronounced dead by paramedics.

Under California law, motorcycles are allowed to split lanes but only under certain conditions - where there is a broken white line and when traffic is either at a stop or close to a being stopped. The motorcyclist can only be going 10-15 mph faster than the traffic they are passing.

According to the California Highway Patrol, 29 motorcyclists died in Orange County traffic accidents in 2005, marking the fourth highest total in California that year. An additional 630 motorcyclists were injured that same year.

Buena Park police traffic officers are investigating the crash. Neither the truck driver nor the driver of the Mercedes, Andrew Campos, 48, of La Mirada, were cited.

Contact the writer: kedds@ocregister.com or 714-796-7829

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Comments on OC Register article
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Let me share a little about Brandon. One of Brandon’s Life goals was to be a great youth pastor. And to be sure, he far exceeded that goal. He actually shared his own obituary, what he wanted people to say about him when he was gone, the Tuesday before he died. But even before that it seemed without even knowing it, he was preparing us for this, as it all becomes clearer we can see how maney people he effected. He recently gave his testimony about refinding the father that left him, and that has driven a hundred and counting to make good with there parents, or to find God. He started a growing mens ministry at Biola called the Journey. He poured his heart, soul, and blood in verything he did. he has accomplished more at 23, than some will in there life. He always said, like Jesus did, that heaven is here, now, you can experience heaven in this lifetime. And boy did he live that! Now he gets the full deal. I hope this helps some people. thanks.

skip - Jun 16, 2007 09:18:06 AM

I was an eye witness to the accident. My car was right behind the truck and sadly I saw everything. Traffic was stopped at the red light at Artesia. The front of the semi truck was only one car behind the intersection while the motorcycle was on his left about 4 or 5 car lengths from the intersection in between the truck and a car. When the light turned green the truck was able to start moving first. The motorcyclist must have realized he was running out of room quickly as the truck accelerated on his right. Eventually the truck clipped him or the bike and the way the bike spilled between the truck and the Mercedes threw him under the truck. I watched in horror as the truck accelerated across the intersection with him getting tangled underneath. He ended up being dragged until someone was able to flag down the truck driver. The truck driver did not feel the hit or realize what had happened until he was stopped by another witness when it cleared the other side of the intersection. From my perspective this was just a horrible accident and no one was at fault. I haven’t been able to get the images out of my head since it happened. I was especially saddened to learn it was someone so young. My heart and prayers go out to his family.

Eye Witness - Jun 15, 2007 09:35:17 PM

WOW, you people are all NUTS It was a miss judgement and it cost him his life Theres bad riders and bad drivers This world is not a perfect world Im sorry for this kid Im sure he will be missed

lostlakegirl - Jun 15, 2007 04:25:31 PM

Everyone who reads this story should be concerned with one thing - a young man died, leaving behind a grieving family. When someone dies, it is not a time to debate about who did what wrong - it is a time to be respectful to those who are affected by that persons death - debate can come later. My son died as the result of a motorcycle accident 4 years ago - my condolences to his family.

Char - Jun 15, 2007 01:56:46 PM

Brandon was a great young man with a heart dedicated to Jesus and helping others here and abroad. He always had a positive attitude and a smile on his face. It is our loss that he was taken. We could all benenfit from trying be a little like Brandon. Prayers for family and friends.

Bill B - Jun 15, 2007 01:10:19 PM

you’re absolutely right! Brandon was such a great man and all of us who knew him were definitely blessed.

anothergrieving friend - Jun 15, 2007 12:46:58 PM

From what I have read, it sounds like this rider made a simple clearance error. He though he had enough room to go between vehicles and his handlebar clipped the truck. Rider error. It happens. It’s unfortunate. I think we should leave it at that. However, there are a few factual errors with this story that should be noted. A motorcycle, and any two vehicles actually, can !share! any lane as long as there is sufficient room to do so safely. Lane sharing can be done at any speed. Traffic does not have to be stopped or near a stop - these are actually the most dangerous conditions to ride between traffic. Motorcycles can go between traffic at whatever speed is reasonable and safe. No greater than 10-15 mph faster then surrounding traffic is a good guideline, but it is not law. Of course, a motorcycle can not break any actual laws while going between traffic.

Jeremy S - Jun 15, 2007 12:46:53 PM

Honestly I am saddened by all the hostility between drivers and riders. I came to this site to help me process the death of a good man. He was a man who invested his life in building up and encouraging others. All of you who are angry at one another would have benefited in knowing this man who chose to love instead of hate.

GrievingFriend - Jun 15, 2007 11:54:15 AM

Southern California is very dangerous for motorcyclists because of the heavy traffic. I stopped riding years ago because it was just too scary. With cell phones and traffic people do not pay attention. Although motorcycles consume alot less gas so for the environment it would be nice if we had more riders! Oh well.

Sheri - Jun 15, 2007 10:16:30 AM

RESPECT the motorcycle. It is just that simple.

CalCarGuy - Jun 15, 2007 10:09:42 AM

Bev,so your saying more motorcyclist violate the law that cars or trucks? I don’t think so. Do you know how many of you people put your face on while your driving? And every morning I see people shaving there face, eating, reading a book or magazine, using there lap tops, having head phones listening to there i-pods, whatching movies, and talking on there cell phone while driving? Don’t be blind. You people violate the law way more often than we do. I don’t usually agree with The Monguls, but I have to agree on this one. I can’t wait for the next guy who cuts me off on my streets. We’ll be ready!

Hells Angels - Jun 15, 2007 09:56:27 AM

I agree with Russ Brown. He has represented me in court before. I was on the 210 East Freeway and traffic was going about 5-10mph. I was splitting lanes on the carpool lane chugging along around 20mph. I’ve could have gone faster but the area has a lot of CHP. There was another bike in front of me about 30 feet in front of me. The bike in front of me gets cut off by a silver F150 truck, the bike had to swerve to the lane next to hime to avoid the truck. Now I’m coming up next to the truck, the driver and passenger where laughing while they look at there rear view mirror and side mirror. I attemted to pass the same truck and he veers to cut me off. I kicked his door in as a reaction to what happend and I get pushed into the car next to me. I was not hurt bad since traffic was moving around 3-5mph at this point. In court the truck driver was charged with wreckless driving thanks to the witneses statements. There are alot of Motorcycle haters out there and a lot of the motorcycle community knows this, and a lot of us are now prepared.

Anti Anita Bike - Jun 15, 2007 09:22:30 AM

Brandon was my friend. Anita, you are cold-hearted. Brandon has a mother and sister that will miss him dearly, not to mention all the people he affected.

Kevin - Jun 15, 2007 09:00:42 AM

Stop being ignorant. If your going to talk about the law then make sure you have all the facts. California allows motorcycles to share lanes also known as lane spliting. This law was mad in effect so that CHP motor units can ride side by side in the same lane. Motorcycles ar also allowed to go in between lanes at traffic lights because it is safer for them than being stopped behind a car or truck. Most motorcycle accidents are caused buy motorist crossing the double yellow line at car pool lanes which is illegal. motorcyclist could only go 5mph faster than traffic but cannot exceed the speed limit while sharing lanes. Bikes sometimes clip your side mirrors because you are not paying close attention to your driving duties.

Russ Brown Motorcycle Law - Jun 15, 2007 08:55:21 AM

I hope auto drivers will not think badly of cyclists. I know splitting is not popular with auto drivers, but please remember, that is one less car that is in front of you. Please try and help make splitting as safe as possible, give a rider room when you can. Thanks.

Chris - Jun 14, 2007 11:42:19 PM

Sorry about my last post, which was pretty depressing. I am getting better now, albeit I’m still anxious about the future. For some reason it really got to me during the time I wrote the post.

I’m writing this post in memory of my friend Brandon Garcia, fellow philosopher who graduated with me. In fact, since I was a December grad, he was the only other philosophy major graduating with me. I sat next to him the whole time. I remember when he joked about the medallion Dr. Cook was wearing around his neck - he said “Dr. Cook’s got some nice bling!” And I remember when we botched the proceedings a bit by standing up at the wrong time (to wait in line to get diplomas), then abandoning our row and waiting a while with no place to go but to wait for our turn.

I remember him going out with a group of us philosophers at the semester’s end and we were off contract. We went to a pub and had a drink over discussion. Brandon had a drink that he named in honor of some philosophical theories, and it was hilarious. I forgot the first part of the name, but the second part ended with “…With a Proper Functionalist Twist”.

I also remember talking to him in Spanish class - and I remember him talking about the girl that sat in front of me, how pretty she was and how he wanted to get to know her more.

I remember him showing me his new motorcycle - that’s the very motorcycle he died riding.

Brandon was pretty involved with his church and with spiritual development projects in general. He created this spiritual development thing for men, called The Journey. He was the youth pastor at his church. He wanted to go to Biola school of Spiritual Formation. He was co-authoring a book with his friend Ryan, who I know because he also graduated with a degree in philosophy and was in some of my classes.

Death isn’t a thing to be taken lightly, even if there is life after death, as I and other Christians believe. Death is a paradox: it is at the same time the worst thing that could happen to you, and also the best thing. It is the worst because is ceases your current life, and your friends and contacts here lose contact with you and mourn your loss. You lose contact with them as well. But death is the best thing, because this is what we’re all headed towards. Our destination isn’t something on this world, but in another.

There are times when life here on Earth is so stressful and depressing that some want to speed up the process and kill themselves before their time has ended. I have certainly felt this was many times in my life, and even recently.

Brandon is the first person I know of who I talked to, was friends with, and yet who inexplicably died before his time. He had accomplished so much more than I have so far, and stands as an example of how to live life fully. Again death is paradoxical - one’s death creates the urge in another person to live, and to live more fully.

He was taken before his time, before he could accomplish all he could have. I feel responsible on my part to try to make up for his loss - to contribute at least as much as my share and his combined for the better in this world.

And I’m sure all who have lost a loved one know that life is precious. Life is not a thing to waste, or to spend being anxious or depressed all the time. Cherish even this very day, because tomorrow we could literally be gone, just like Brandon.

We will miss you man. Much love.